We’re going to be playing in the East.

Kristian: Seattle took Jamal Crawford with their fifth pick, and like Negan from The Walking Dead, I had to shut down a Jamal Crawford-Lou Williams backcourt, with no exceptions. Besides, what team couldn’t use a walking bucket Cheap NFL Jerseys coming off the bench?

Whitney: We’re going to be playing in the East. We have a shot to make the playoffs, so we’re also going for a sixth man of the year award. We’re shooting for the stars. We’re letting Lou Williams cook off the bench.

And since the Hampton Roads area was on Tom Ziller’s list of possible expansion locations, I (Kristian) — a proud Hampton University alumnus — decided to make Virginia Beach the East’s 16th NBA city. Allen Iverson, who is from Hampton, Va., will assume a guard development role effective immediately.

We gave the SuperSonics the first pick because they deserve it. With that, we got first pick at head coach and we quickly offered Becky Hammon as much money as we possibly could.

It’s LeBron-freaking James. You get to put the biggest star in your city since Kobe, and you get to remove a potential headache in LaVar. It’s perfect. Now we don’t just get LeBron gets to go to the most marketable city of his career, giving him the opportunity to start not just “Is LeBron better than MJ?” talk, but also “Is he the best Laker ever?” chatter.

Young talent and a new beginning. You trade off LeBron here, Kyrie in a separate deal and suddenly you’ve gone from having a point guard who thinks New York Jets Cheap Jerseys the world is flat to a family who thinks it revolves around them.

Meanwhile, the Ball family will never reach the heady heights of popularity it craves in Los Angeles. Too many fish, even for a big pond. They can walk in and totally own Cleveland. Big Baller sausages, the Browns will be renamed the “Cleveland Balls,” and in time the city will become “Balleveland.” The sky is the limit for their marketing genius. Also, you know LaVar would write passionate letters in Comic Sans as well.

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Or because it was such a wonderful experience sacking an all-time great quarterback that it felt like heaven (which is how a bed feels)? Whatever the case, sacking Brady helped propel the Broncos into the Super Bowl, where Von spent more time laying around, except this time on Cam Newton. And the result of his dominant defense was a title and a bajillion media appearances this offseason.

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